Before and After

It is DONE!!!!! WAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What do you think?

Ronan loves it! And Hazel hasn't had any accidents... yet. *crosses fingers*

I am so glad we accomplished this before the boys come. It is going to make life move so much easier!

Now that they have names...

I have found myself feeling very anxious. I guess with the bleeding scare I had I sorta detached myself from the babies a bit. I loved them ofourse, and I was so happy to be pregnant, but I didn't feel all that BONDED...

Well, now that I know they are boys, I feel them moving, they are getting closer and closer to viability, and they have NAMES, I find myself so incredibly in love it's a little silly. I feel like I KNOW them, I feel like they are my sons and my heart has opened up in a way that I didn't think possible. I always wondered if I would love a new baby as much as Ronan, let alone TWO little strangers!!
However, it is as everyone says. Your heart knows and you really do open up and prepare a little place for those children. I love them as much as I love Ronan. I don't know them as well yet, but my love for them runs so so deep.

Which brings me to the anxiety. Now that I am completely in love with them I am terrified of something horrifying happening. My doctor reassures me continually that the babies look GREAT etc... And honestly he could tell me that every day and it wouldn't really matter. It doesn't have anything to do with him. It has everything to do with me trusting them to God. That is such a hard thing for someone who has experienced a loss, and who has seen others experience loss/ still births.
But it's a lesson God is forcing me to learn.

I want to be obedient. I so DESPERATELY want to be obedient. So this week I am going to focus on my trust. I am going to trust that God will take care of my boys. I am going to believe that He is protecting them, nourishing them, and that if I ask, and if I pray, He will take away this anxiety. This has been a long prayerfully considered journey for us, I need to believe that God knows what He is doing. That these boys were made for us, for our family at just the right time.

I need to STOP worrying!!!!

18 weeks!!!!

Here is my babies belly pic!!!!

6 more weeks to viability!!! I love hitting that 24 week mark. I have an appoitment this Wednesday with my OB, then another March 1st (20 weeks) where I also have my anatomy scan. Praying that these babies are both very healthy and can keep up with their crazy brother :)
They should be able to get a good look at their kidneys and see what the likelihood is of them both having Vesicourureteral Reflux/ What Ronan has- that caused him his hospital trip and UTI. I HOPE that we don't have to worry about that again, but if we do, atleast we will know from the get go.

Thank you Lord for blessing this servant. I am so unworthy, but feel so incredibly honored that you have given me these boys. PLEASE protect them, allow them to grow healthy and strong until it's time for me to hold them in my ARMS!!! I cannot WAIT to know them more personally.
In your name I pray, Amen.

We have names :)

Baby A = Kaden Kenneth. Baby B= Trystan Travis.

We decided to name their middle names after both of our fathers. Ken is MY dad, and Travis is Brian's.

It is so nice to address them personally.

Meanwhile my dog, Hazel, whom i love VERY MUCH has been sensing the hormones in the house, the changes in the house and has been PEEING and POOPING in my house!!!!! She does NOT do this EVER, it is not like her at all.
I have tried just about everything with her and I am just exhausted. I cannot leave her unsupervised or she takes it out on the carpet, EVEN if I JUST took her out to go potty!!!!!!

SO after thought and prayer we have decided to say bye bye to our carpets. And NO the idea of re-homing her has not entered my mind, as it is NOT an option for us. She is too much a part of our family. PLUS, with three boys and a dog I might as well say goodbye to carpets right now anyways. We will be putting in wood flooring instead. Perfect for cars, and easy clean ups... perfect for boys ;)

Anyway, that is my rant.

Time is closing in our our getaway, I cannot wait for my mystery trip with Brian for our anniversary!!!!


OH and I have been feeling the babies MUCH more frequently, it's getting so real now!!!!! Praise the LORD!!!!!

I guess God has placed it upon me to....

Fill the Earth with strong, godly men who love Him :)

And maybe our own baseball team!



That's right Ronan is going to have two brothers!!!! And I am going to rock at being the hot soccer mom LOL.

I was really convinced one of them was a little girl, and was even a little sad at first... Now I wouldn't have it any other way.
I am so excited to see these brothers grow up together!!!!! God divinely planned my family so I KNOW it will be good.

I've popped!!

HOLY COW!

Look at my tummy!!!



I had my 16 week check up. Everything looks perfect. He did a cervical check just to be safe since I am still spotting. Cervix looks perfect, and normal. He also did an ultrasound. This time we could see the little bit of old blood still working it's way out. It looks like what we've suspected, the kids are just growing and growing and slowly squeezing it out lol, sorry TMI.

Next appt is the anatomy scan :)

Valentines day is coming up, and so is our 7th anniversary. Brian has some great things planned this year and I am SO excited!!!!! I still have NO clue where he is taking me, or WHEN exactly, which is just building my anticipation. I cannot wait to get away with my husband, just him and me for 4 days, 3 nights *sigh* YAY!!! My amazing MIL will be here at the house watching Ronan, so I don't feel stressed at ALL about that. SO much planned during the second trimester I hope it makes it go by super fast :)

Ronan is my crazy monkey boy. He has so much energy it is really getting hard to keep up, but boy do I love that kid <3 I cannot wait to see him as a big brother :)

Thank you Lord for blessing me more than I ever imagined. I feel so thankful for all you've given me. I will enjoy and bask in your glory and your gifts until you call me home. You are so good! Please continue to watch over all my children. Ronan, the twins, my frozen embryos, and my first born in Heaven.
Amen.