WoW! Great news... X's TWO!

Heartbeat of Baby A- which was 132 BPM. Baby A measured 6 weeks 4 days!!! Heartbeat of Baby B- 125 BPM. Baby B measured 6 weeks 2 days!!!Today I am 6 weeks 2 days so, they are right on target!!!!!!It is really hard to see BOTH in their sacs right now at the same time because Baby B is tucked in a We are beyond thrilled and feeling so incredibly blessed to be having these TWINS. TWINS!!!!I AM EATING FOR 3!!!!!! am going to go from having ONE child to THREE!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!I cannot thank God enough. I feel so unworthy to have been blessed with these babies!!!! I know it will be hard work, but I am just.... I am so up for this.Thank you Lord... Please keep praying for them. It's still early... Dr. B puts my M/C risk in the single digits, so that makes me feel better.Can you believe it???? TWINS!!!!!

5 weeks 2 days

Just a quick check in before the craziness of Thanksgiving :) Brian and I will be spending some time with family that we haven't seen in a while- so excited!

I am feeling good for the most part. My body feels like it has been drugged though. I am SO tired nearly ALL the time, peeing every 3-4 hours. My ligaments are pinching and pulling, sciatic is starting to act up- although not unbearably so. Nausea fallows just about every meal and I am REALLY craving salty things and vegtables.

For fun I have been peeing on OPK's lol. It's fun to see them SO DARK, I never did that last pregnancy.

I am dying for the next week to go by as FAST as possible. I am so ready to see my baby(ies) and a healthy heart beat(s)
I get nervous about a repeat or my first pregnancy... so nervous sometimes. I try to remind myself that I wasn't being treated then, and that these embryos were graded so well, my HCG levels look excellent, I am young, and know my body can carry a child to full term.
So, for the most part I am SO excited, but I just think that once your eyes have been opened to what CAN happen, it sorta spoils the chance of having that blissful nieve attitude most people carry once they see a positive test. Like, everything will be perfect and the baby will arrive 9 months later exactly, you know... like in the movies ;)

I trust God's plan. I have to. He is in control of it all, and I am HAPPY He is. Starting from day one, Brian and I trust our children to the Lord. He knows the number of their days, and there is no sense in worrying. So I am focusing on just enjoying every moment I have with this pregnancy and these babies. Being thankful for the Lord's work and resting in it.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving Holiday!!!

Egg retrieval and transfer pictures

Here's some fun pictures to go in my scrapbook :)
These first few are me prepping for the egg retrieval- Brian even snuck a pic of me when they brought me back in and I was still out lol.







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And here are a few 5 days later when I had my little ones put back- to STAY!!!





I also have an ultrasound image of him actually placing them back into my uterus, and ofcourse the pictures of the babies themselves :)

Again... THANK YOU LORD!!

2nd beta is back

I just got the numbers from my 2nd beta. I about bawled on the phone...
The numbers MORE than doubled!!!

14 DPO 315.2

16 DPO 855

I am so relieved!!!!! The 6 1/2 weeks ultrasound is scheduled for Nov. 30th with my RE!!!

I also got my first two OB appts scheduled! Feeling very productive, very blessed and just a little nauseous...

*THANK YOU LORD*

BETA #1 (blood pregnancy test)

My RE just called! The first words out of his mouth? "Congratulations!"

He wanted to see the HCG levels (pregnancy hormone) atleast around 30-40. My results? 315.2!!!!!

All of my other hormones were above average as well. He said atleast twice that everything looked GREAT!

I will have a second blood draw on Wednesday to make sure it is rising properly.

PRAISE GOD!!!!

Oh... and incase you didn't catch just HOW HIGH my levels were, they are DEFINITELY in the twin range.
The average HCG number for a normal singleton pregnancy is between 95-223
The average HCG for a normal twin pregnancy is between 146-803

Only time will tell, and we will take whatever He gives us, with a FULL heart

And for fun, here is a test from this morning ;)

12 dpo/ Transition for Ronan

Today is 12 DPO, this was the time I had a BETA for Ronan. For IVF I am having it 14 DPO. I don't know why, but it doesn't really matter.
I feel at peace right now about it. I took a test today. My line is definitely making some progress :)



On a separate note, Ronan has transitioned to a toddler bed. He kept trying to climb out of the crib... He LOVES his new bed, and I am so pleased and proud of how well he is transitioning.
The bedding is anything but fancy. It's all his favorite things though. He HAS to have his giant gorilla, spider man pillow, toy story pillow, baby blanket (formerly Brian's baby blanket) and one of my pillows :)





This is how it looked before



So yeah, our house has been filled with changes lately :)
I feel so blessed. So thankful...

Can't deny the digital test!

10 DPO...

And GOD IS GOOD! Can I get an AMEN???

I haven't seen something this beautiful in a while. It's still very faint because it's SO early... But it popped up pretty fast :)



10 days past fertilization, and either one or two of those beautiful babies are nestled in! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I was getting faint positives yesterday, but they were so so barely there I just wasn't sure... I thought about keeping everyone in the dark until I got my beta test but it is still 4 days away and I cannot hold back my excitement or my praises any longer!!!

THANK YOU LORD!!!!!!

OH, and please please DO NOT MENTION THIS ON FACEBOOK! Lord willing everything will go well with our little one(s) and we will announce around Christmas time, when the bab(ies) will be around 9-10 weeks.

Continue praying for my babies!!!

If you are curious about symptoms here they are:
Achy breasts
Mild stetching/ cramping in uterus
Gagging everytime I brush my teeth
SO TIRED
Weepy and emotional

Thank you to everyone who has been supporting us and lifting us up in prayers!!! Infertility is a long, hard and emotional journey- unbearable at times... It is moments like these I am reminded of just how Amazing God is that He can knock my socks off like this and just bless me in a way so deep I will never ever forget.

Praise you Lord. All glory goes to YOU! AMEN!!!!

Great expectations?

God is teaching me a lot right now....

First let me start by saying that I was just about heart broken to learn this morning that only 2 of the 5 early blasts continued to grow. Meaning that only 2 were frozen.
The good news is that they were both perfect quality 4AA and 5AA (already starting to hatch)
More than anything it was a blow to my expectation of how many I thought I would have. I thought being young I would have a good 10 frozen. THEN I wouldn't be so afraid, because if the first one didn't work I would have the others... They were my security blanket. My FALSE security blanket.
God is the only thing I can bank on. And what I know about God is that He always knows better than I do, and that worrying is a waste of time. God allowed us these 4 lives for a reason. He knew I never wanted to leave any behind, He knows which ones will make it and I should fully rely on His sovereignty.

As much as I constantly struggle with it, I must remind myself that my infertility does NOT define me. My struggle with conceiving doesn't make me less of a woman. God designed my body, and unfortunately because of sin and the fallen world I have a stupid disease that effects my fertility, but it has no reflection of my worth in God's eyes.

I have two healthy babies just waiting to implant (probably today or tomorrow) and two more siblings waiting to join the Holman pack later :)
I am blessed.

Lord, make my womb hospitable. Allow these little lives to implant. BOTH of them Lord, protect them both and allow them both a safe implantation. We love you and trust you. I ask that it be your will that we meet these precious ones in July.
In Your Name I pray,
AMEN!

My beautiful babies :)

My family just prayed with me, and I am already feeling better.

God I trust you. I had hoped for more, but YOU know the big picture. I trust you with these new lives and I trust that you will protect and grow the little ones inside now. Give me peace, remove my anxiety.

Thank you for these perfect little embryos. Protect their siblings. I love you, Lord

I'm BACK!

Well i am home and in bed! My doctor said it went perfect. They transferred two grade AA blastocysts, told me there was one other blastocyst and 5 early blasts still growing. I won't know until tomorrow if any of them will be "potential baby material" They both felt comfortable saying I would definitely have some to freeze, I just can't help but feel slightly defeated... I was really hoping out of 20 mature eggs I would have a good solid 6-7 blasts, and now it looks like I will be lucky to get 3 or 4 ( besides the 2 in me now)

I am just feeling very emotional today and having a hard time feeling optimistic... Please pray for the 5 still growing....

And that God wrap His arms around the two in my womb now. Pray that they safely attach and grow!!!

FERTILITY REPORT IS IN!!!!

FERTILITY REPORT IS IN!!!!

Of the 25 eggs taken, 20 were mature. Of the 20 mature, 13 fertilized naturally/normally.

She said that usually about 1/2 make it to blast so that would put me around 6-7 blasts? Transfer 2 fresh and have about 4-5 to freeze?

AHHHHHH!!!! 13 little ones growing! I cannot believe it! I wish I were going to get more updates :( I don't think I will hear anymore until my transfer Saturday!

It is so crazy to think that even when all is aligned that there can still be 7 perfectly good/ mature eggs (atleast to the naked eye) that still don't get fertilized. Life really is a miracle.

Only God knows which of those fertilized eggs will be compatible with life. I cannot help but cheer them all on. They are little HOLMANS! However 14 kids would be a lot lol. God knows our number, and whatever it is, we will take it!!!!

PLEASE pray for our little eggs!