Celebrating my Christmas miracle :)

We had a wonderful Christmas!! We didn't really do gifts this year, although my hubby DID suprise me with a beautiful locket from "Ronan" ;) inside were pictures of the two guys that mean the most to me :)
Brian and I must think alike because I also suprised him with a new wallet with picture of Ronan and him and I.
It was a pretty low key Christmas, we went for a walk outside with our dog and Ronan. He does really well in the car seat and his stroller. and ofcourse Hazel enjoyed getting out of the house and romping around in the great outdoors. She really is doing awesome with the baby :)

We are starting to get into a routine, I mean... as much of a routine as you CAN with a newborn... it seems at this stage they make their OWN routine hehe.
I'm a little nervous about Brian going back to work next week :( He has been SOOOO helpful and I am scared that when he leaves it will all fall apart, or atleast I will. I am feeling like I am adapting to the Mother role very well, and am even fairly confident in my abilities... the hardest part for me right now is the SLEEEEPING!!! It's very difficult for me to nap when he does during the day. I get so fixated on cleaning and organizing while he sleeps. Then when he decides to stay up all night, I am a complete wreck.
I'm just praying that this part won't last too long, and before we know it we will be establishing SOME sort of routine that will provide us both enough sleep :)

Besides all that, i couldn't be any happier. My son is so stinking beautiful!!! Praise the Lord for my long awaited miracle... sometimes I still taken aback when I look at him. When i realize he is really mine! And this trial that I have been struggling with for SO long is finally over!!!

I hope all of you enjoyed your Christmas as well :)

Busy Busy Busy!!!!

Here are the picures that are going out on our Christmas card

WOW, life with a newborn is insanely busy!!!! I don't even know where to begin! I cannot remember the last time I slept more than 3 hours in a row, yet somehow I have plenty of energy through out the day!!! Thanks God! Ronan pees on himself all the time? how does this happen? Partly because Brian puts his diapers on funny :) (hey, atleast he is changing him!) He poops all the time, and caring for his little circumsized penis can be challenging. Vaseline is not as easy to apply as one might think.
He has put himself on a feeding schedule of every four hours, which is fine by me. And is the absoloute cutest most handsome baby I have ever seen in my life!!!! His expressions are priceless, and his sleeping face is so precious. The smell of his breath and skin. Everything about him, I love. I have a hard time ever setting him down. I think the only times he isnt in my arms is when he gets daddy time, I am eat, sleeping or going to the bathroom. Other than that, this little man is always with me :) What can I say, i just love him SOOOO MUCH!!!!
He has had a lot of visitors and has mets lots of his family, but he will meet even MORE on Christmas eve :) How special is that?
Anyway, I only have about 10 minutes before he wakes up and wants to nurse. The healing process is still a process, I am still very very sore, but it's getting better.
I am just insanely thankful and greatful to our wonderful Lord and Savior who allowed us this special blessing!!! Praise you God!!

He is HOME!!!!

Praise the Lord, my miracle has come home with me!!! Ronan Edward Holman was born December 10th at 8:37 pm after about 20 hours of painful contractions. It started around midnight, Wednesday night... the night before my induction! I had a strange feeling about it, so I took a nice long shower and hoped to get some sleep before the inevitable happened. No such luck. The contractions were too painful and about 8 minutes apart. There wasn't enough time to fall asleep inbetween! We decided to go in and get checked out.
We were like the 10th pregnant couple to arrive, apparently it was a busy day at the labor and delivery! They assesed me, and I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated and 75% effaced. Normally they probably would have sent me home, but thankfully my wonderful DR was on call and since I was scheduled for an induction 24 hours from then, he figured they would work along side my contractions with the pitocin if things didn't progress on their own. I was SO thankful because it was NOT very comfortable haha. I got my own room eventually and the most WONDERFUL nurse! Everything was just perfect, even the pain. I knew my sweet heart would be coming soon! Unfortunatly my contractions began to get further and further apart and I wasn't making any cervical progression, so they added the pitocin. oh BOY! it wasn't bad at first. Just slightly more regular. They eventually got some strong and were somewhat irregular I was having a really hard time dealing with it. They gave me a narcotic, which was nice at first, but really only made me sleepy and loopy and did NOT help with the pain. After a few more hours my epidural came, THANK GOODNESS!!!! I think I got my epidural around 4:30pm. They then upped my pitocin, hoping to get some regular contractions to change my cervix... two hours later, around 6:00 pm my dr comes in to check on me... "you are probably in for a loooong night he said, probably a midnight delivery, but let's check you first" so he checks me... and YAY some progress! I was now 3 cm dilated and 100% effaced, "WOW" he said, "let's break your water" I was SO happy at that point! I felt nothing when he apparently broke my water, and then it was back to waiting... I was getting excited because if nothing else, Survivor was about to come one, and then a new episode of the Office lol... So it's about 10 minutes to Survivor 7:50 pm and I am starting to feel a lot of pressure in my cathedar. I tell the nurse and she says she will check me in about 10 minutes... 15 minutes later I am getting antsy. Brian is asleep on the couch and I am having my mom take peaks because it feel weird hahah. The nurse finally comes in, checks me and much to our suprise I was COMPLETE! "you can start pushing any time now"...... wait... WHAT??? I woke up Brian and the Dr. came in... Survivor started and I pushed on the commercial breaks.. No i am kidding ofcourse haha. But it was the strangest thing! It wasn't painful at ALL because of the epidural, but I could feel when I was supposed to push. They had a mirror up for me which was AWESOME. I could see his head starting to emerge. LOTS of dark hair!!!
After a little under 30 minutes of pushing Ronan was out! They handed him directly to me, and after that everything became a blur. Everything was about Ronan now, I didn't care that I was being stitched from vagina to rectum due to a 3rd degree tear. My eyes couldn't leave my son... He was so beautiful. I held him for a good 30 minutes while they stitched me. I cannot explain the feeling. It was just so right, and calm and wonderful. It all happened so fast i just couldn't believe he was finally in my arms... safe.

We were discharged around 11:00 AM saturday and have been enjoying some peace and quiet around the house.
tomorrow is his first appt with the pediatrition, and I have a post pardum check up. We will also attempt to get our first family pic soon by the Christmas tree so that we can send them out as Christmas cards/ announcements.

ALSO I think my milk is coming in already! My boobs are AMAZING!!!!!! hahah it is deffinatly taking some adjusting around the house, but things are slowly falling into place. Praise the Lord!!!!

2 days to go!

Oh my goodness... I cannot believe there are only 2 days until I head into the hospital!!! I mean... seriously, i cannot believe it!!!
I got my schedule yesterday, EVERYTHING IS OFFICIALLY SET!!!! here is my plan of action for thursday...

Clean house, so it's all perfect when I come home :)
Take a nap
Take a bath so I am descent looking (and smelling) for doctors and pictures ;)
Finish packing my hospital bag
Eat a BIG MEAL
Drive to the hospital, check in around 11:50 pm

THEN when I get there they will check me in and start the cream stuff (whatever it is called) to soften the cervix more, and I get my own room!!! AHHHHHH and THEN my RONAN WILL COME (after some laboring ofcourse)

Thank you LORD!!! Thank you so much for this blessing! Praise you God for hearing my heart's cries, and answering my prayers. Thank you God for filling this ache in our lives. We will remember you and remember your goodness every time we look into our son's eyes. You have given us a gift we could never repay you for.
Thank you... Praise your name!!!!!!!!!!!!!

40 weeks!!!!

TODAY IS MY DUE DATE!!!!!! ..... so..... why is he still in there? Can someone remind me?? hehe. I had my appt today, it was slightly rushed because one of my dr's patients needed an emergency c-section. There was good news and bad news. Hardly any change with my cervix... that is the bad news. The good news is that we have an induction lined up!!! Brian and I decided that we do not want to go over 41 weeks, for many different reasons. Partly inpatience, but mostly for safety. We are still hoping that I go into labor before the induction, which is scheduled for thursday evening/friday morning, but if labor doesn't happen on it's own, THERE IS AN END IN SIGHT and i will be holding my baby in 7 days!!

HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE THESE 7 DAYS????? uuuugggghhhh I just want him to be here now. I cannot wait!!!!

So until then, I will pray for patience, and strength. I will also be praying for my son's health!! There is nothing more important to me right now, than seeing to it that my boy makes it here healthy and safe!!! If you feel led to pray for his safety as well, it would be MUCH appriciated :)

I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Praise the LORD!! My gracious God is going to bless my heart's desire!!!!