Ronan's check up

Some of you may remember that my sweet 4 year old, Ronan was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux, or, Kidney reflux. He was diagnosed at 5 weeks old due to a UTI that put him in the hospital.
Since then, they have frequently check on the status and have seen him slowly grow out of it. A perfect answer to prayer.

Today was supposed to be his last check up. To verify that it was gone.

We went to the ultrasound, the tech was nice, but very quiet. She didn't want to chat at all, and spent a LOT of time taking picture of his left kidney.

We then took the images to our specialist.

He came into the room very quiet, a little somber. He stated that Ronan's reflux looks to be no issue any more. Grown out of it.....

Good news right? .....

Did any one from the hospital come look at the pictures? Any second opinions?
* starting to panic now *

"No"

"one of his kidney's has a hump on it... He is in the age range for tumor growth. This happens most likely between 4-6 years of age. You will probably need to get more images done"

The conversation went down hill from there. A lot of talk about tumors, chemo, surgery etc... All worst case scenarios.

He promised to call me as soon as he heard back from the radiologist.

I left, a complete mess. Ronan was so happy, no clue how scary the situation was. The twins were fussy, so I just kinda went through the motions. Filled with fear.

I got the call... I answered, prepared for the worst. The word "benign" never sounded so beautiful. He said that it was a normal variation. Nothing more to be concerned about....

I broke down and cried after that.

All the images of surgeries, sleepless nights of worry, fear of the unknown, could be put to rest....

Then my heart felt for the parents who didn't get those calls. The ones that were malignant. My heart broke for them

We never know. Never know when God might call us to a difficult circumstance. One that might even call our children home before us.... Lord willing I never ever have to cross that bridge.

I do know that even through the darkest valleys. My God is good. This gives me more fuel than ever to teach my children about their Heavenly Father. To ensure they understand the price Jesus paid for them. The truth that if hey believe, they will be in heaven when they pass. That we will all be together on the other side of this life.

Keep on truckin'

Cycle #2 Another negative cycle.... Thankfully I am still having a regular cycle. The Maca is definitely regulating my hormones!!! Like I said before I am also taking royal jelly, prenatals, and I have added coQ10 along with lemon water to the daily regimen. If anything else I am super duper healthy lol. I am running regularly, keeping my weight around 135 on my 5'7 frame... So .... Doing all I can. It's up to God if He will give us a miracle :) I know He can do it. No doubt. Infact, it would knock my socks off... However, I also know how He designed me. I know I have a disease that Lord willing there is treatment for. It doesn't mean I can't dream though, right? Dream for a natural miracle, expect goodness and generosity from my Heavenly Father!!!! I am praying with my whole heart for that. If not, and He continues do give me the desire for more children we will pray about medical intervention again. I am not scared of it... I just really really want to see what can happen on my own. You never know. I know deep down, both my husband and I... We know that there are more children waiting. We know we are meant to raise more. I can't explain why, but God has made it very clear that this is what we were made for. It stinks that it doesn't come easy for us, but maybe that is what makes it so beautiful? We fight so hard, scrimp and save to bring life into this world. To show them love, and teach them about God. Sending them out as lights in this world. I can think of no greater calling. While we work on that.... We are also getting to a busy time of year! My husband who works full time, who is also in the final stages of publishing his first novel, is also going to be coaching baseball this year!!!! I am so excited for him!!!! When his season is over, it will be time for MINE!!!! For those who don't know, I am a varsity volleyball coach. I get to bring the kiddos with me. It's pretty amazing lol. So a lot going on in our home. Exciting and hopeful :)

Snow days :)

We had a TON of snow here a few weeks ago. It hasn't snowed like that since the Before Ronan was born!
We had soooo much fun in huge snow! We build snowmen, ramps to slide down on garbage sacks ( lol we aren't rich)
The twins liked to be pulled in the laundry hamper, I pulled them with the dog's leash haha.

It was so great though. Play time outside, and lots of cozy time by the fire inside.