What's next?

Brian and I met with Dr B to discuss future options if we should decide to continue expanding our family.

We discussed everything from Clomid and timed intercourse, to mini IVF and back to conventional IVF.

We feel very certain that our family is not complete yet. We have always dreamed of a large family. We are not rich though lol, so we need to consider all our options and discuss the route we should take.

He recommended either returning to injectibles and IUI ( since that worked for Ronan- albeit after 6 attempts) and our insurance stopped covering any monitoring for infertility cycles... So each try would be 2,500 dollars.... That adds up pretty quick and doesn't have high success rates.

He also recommends Conventional IVF. He did not think I was a good candidate for mini IVF ( which is essentially low dose meds IVF cycle- you look to retrieve only 2-3 eggs... But after a lot of thought, this just seems like a fancy IUI... The reason I am not a good candidate is that my egg quality isn't that great, in the sense at out of 20 mature eggs only 13 fertilized naturally ( most likely because my eggs are "tougher" harder to penetrate due to my PCOS ) of the 13 we only ended up with 2 amazing blasts and 2 to freeze. Obviously those weren't healthy since they stopped growing.

So the odds of getting a perfect blast to transfer from just 2-3 eggs isn't very good. And then the cycle is a bust.

So IUI or back to IVF... Part of me wanted to try to IUI again, but Brian remembers how horrible it was... So emotional and so many negatives...

He instead thinks our best chance to finish our family ( we have always wanted 4- any more would be incredible blessings we would take happily) but we will be just thrilled if we only got one more child.

So the best chance would be to return to conventional IVF.

However, we aren't rich so..... That means saving for a year. I would actually be okay waiting longer since im only 28.

It's pretty overwhelming... But it's the desire of our hearts. There isn't anything else that we put above family ( besides our relationship with God) we don't long for a bigger, nicer house, or new cars, or this or that... No, our passion is in children. 

We also want to adopt, but don't feel ready for that step quite yet. 

During our time off I am going to be taking some herbal supplements and track my cycles to see if I can ovulate on my own. It would be an amazing blessing to get pregnant naturally. I know it CAN happen.. So why not try? If we did get pregnant we would be done and all that money would go into savings! I know.. I know... I dream, but God can do anything!!! Maybe He will give me a surprise miracle?

Anyway, that is our update :)

I am looking forward to this step back from trying and excited for the holiday season with my amazing boys ( and man ;)

They are growing up so fast and this is definitely my favorite stage!!!!

A positive thing that is coming from all this, is that I have nothing holding me back from coaching again next season, so that is something I look forward to . God used me SO much last year, I am excited to go back.

The other project that I am working on is managing the advertisement/ marketing of my husband's first novel. It's currently in the beta reader stages and in a few months will be off to its final stages of editing! We plan to have it out out for sale by summer 2014.

It's all very exciting and I cannot wait to see others fall in love with this book like I have :)

Thank you blogger friends for sticking with me during this journey. I feel like a masochist at times... Wanting and desiring something that my body doesn't want to cooperate with... It's painful and a battle, but as my husband reminds me daily, as he gazes at our lively boys " would you trade it for anything though?"

Absolutely not.... I will fight... Until God takes away my desires, or puts new ones in my heart ( which believe me, I pray for often) I will continue to fight!