Lincoln Oliver Holman

We had our gender ultrasound on Saturday. It was such a fun experience!!!

Myself, Brian, our boys, my mom and my MIL. All together in the perfect room, which resembled more of a family room. With toys fort he kids to play with,a. Big bed for me to lay on.
The tech started right away! We looked at the precious little baby before us. Kicking, stretching, sucking it's thumb.... Then she pointed out the boy parts, or how she so delicately put it "his turtle is poking out" lol!!!
We all erupted in cheers shouting his name, "Lincoln Oliver!!!" Ronan looked at his littlest brother on the big screen and spoke to him in his perfect 4 year old voice. Hi Lincoln Oliver! HI!!! Look at my book! I will read it to you!

The twins shouted his name next. Oh how sweet to hear the name of my youngest from the little lips of my 2 year olds for the first time, "Winkon Owiver!!!"

So there you have it! Our happy happy news! A 4th son! Here is our Facebook announcement

15 weeks!

Wow, this pregnancy is going by so fast! I am very busy right now with my volleyball schedule. Our team is doing so great and I am having so much fun, but I am so totally exhausted!!!Ronan is in full on school mode. Yes, my 4 year old. That kid loves his work books. Every day at 9:00 we have school time. We all go into the school room and Ronan does his math work book, addition and subtraction, first grade level!!! He also practices reading and his other work books.The twins, who are 2, love their puzzles, and coloring. Making towers with Legos and using their marble run.And I sit on hour floor and facilitate lol.I am starting to feel little flutters from this baby :) and verrrrry soon we will be finding out the gender. We have names picked out for a son and daughter. I love them both so much! Can't wait to find out which one we will use!!!!Yesterday I had an OB appt. I got to take a sneak peak at the baby :)My OB also discussed the birth plan. He suggests a VBAC which is what I want, but I want to labor at the hospital. Call me crazy, I don't care. But after having losses, I love being around doctors. So even with the 1% chance of uterine rupture during labor? I want to be labor ing THERE. So he suggested an induction around 39 weeks. I do REALLY well being induced. Ronan was induced at about 41 weeks. Kaden and Trystan at 35. Kaden came SO easy after they broke my water. Trystan got stuck transverse with his cord- which was the reason for the c-section.So all in all, I feel REALLY good about everything. Can not wait to find out!!!!!Ronan is hoping for another boy. "So we can have FOUR boys and I can call us, 'THE HOLMAN BROTHERS!!!!'"Kaden and Trystan both say it's a girl.I think it's probably a boy lol. My heart and gut said girl from the beginning... But my heart and gut are usually wrong when guessing genders.... So I am going with boy.Brian always says boy because he can't imagine anything different. LolStay tuned :)

Almost 10 weeks!

Had our last ultrasound with the RE and officially graduated to my regular OB!

We saw our sweet miracle, kicking and and wiggling all over. It was such a beautiful, and amazing sight.

I am so thankful and grateful for this miracle!!!!!

What a beautiful sound....

Almost 9 weeks, and for the last 2 days, I have been able to pick up this little miracle's heart beat on my doppler at home <3
It's the most wonderful sound. A huge beaming smile covers my face when it pops up... What a glorious, redeeming miracle.

Thank you God.

I remember when I found out I was pregnant this time around... I was mad. I didn't want to go through another loss. I had it in my mind that my body was incapable of producing a healthy natural pregnancy. Only through medication.
I gave up on my body. God didn't. He gave me a miracle, and I am completely in awe of the beauty of it all.

I can't wait to find out who this kid is!!!!

Hello little miracle!

Measuring 2 days ahead, with a perfect steady heart rate of 136 bpm, here is our surprise miracle!!!!
7 weeks 1 day.

I cried when I saw that heart beating. Just completely broke down. After the doctor congratulated us and left, Brian and I instantly clung to eachother sobbing. We were overjoyed...

This pregnancy feels strong. I have had intense morning sickness, exhaustion, major mood swings, and even early signs of lactation, craaaazy.

So, praise the Heavenly Father!!!!! Thank you JESUS for over coming. You are the true healer, You have given me much joy. What a gift.
And as a good friend, and fellow PCOSer so elloquently put it, "screw PCOS" ;) my God is bigger than this disease!

Praying for continued development, and health for this little one.

I'm just overt he moon right now!!!!!

Not sure how it happened... But I will take it!!!

So, I here I am waiting and waiting for my post miscarriage period to come... We decided that we wanted to revisit IUI with injectibles. We followed my blood HCG levels down to zero almost 5 weeks ago... It should be here by now.

I tuck my little boys into bed, which means I lay down with them in there little beds. As I go so sit up, my round ligaments are screaming at me. Ouch!!! What was THAT? A random thought crosses my mind, reminding me that I feel this way whenever I O, or even more so, when I am pregnant...

I grab an LH test. Maybe it's a super late O? I dip the stick, watch the dye cross. My test line is instantly dark. Much darker than the control line. It doesn't seem normal...

I ask Brian to bring a pregnancy test home on his way back from work. I honestly didn't think much about it. Yet, at the same time, I just knew....

I had already used most of my pee on the LH test, but I got a little out for the pregnancy test.

I couldn't believe how fast it popped up...

The next morning I explained to my very confused RE's office why I wanted an HCG blood draw.

At that time, I am guessing I was 16 dpo. Or 4 weeks 2 days.
The results? 690!!!

I went in again today 18 dpo, or there abouts. 4 weeks 4 days.
1281!!!

I am just stunned!

My progesterone was 47 too. I still have my suppositories too.

Things like this don't happen to me. They just don't!

I am trying not to question it too much. Trying to just embrace this odd peace that I feel about this baby.

God,
These curve balls you keep throwing me are nuts! I trust you Lord. I always do... I hope and pray this little one makes it to our arms.
Please protect this child. Help him or her grow perfect. Knit this baby together in my womb, just the way you intend. I so desperately do not want to loose another baby, Lord. Please God. Allow this to be an easy pregnancy with a happy ending...
In your name
amen.

The end of my miracle...

I started to bleed last night. I have been feeling "off" the last few days....

I had an ultrasound this morning.

Ultrasound showed that the pregnancy is still there but not nearly as far along as it should be, I am unfortunately very certain of my dates. I know what it should look like by now. All we saw was a 3 mm sac. There was some gray ish matter inside. No clear yolk sac or fetal pole.
We drew blood to look at HCG. I am feeling very confident that I am miscarrying.
I am absolutely heart broken. I was so excited for this miracle. However, I also recognize how blessed I am already. Praying that God will comfort us through this time and bring us another baby in His time.