Thank goodness!!!

Ronan's urine sample came back negative for infection!!! Thank you Lord! He still has a fever, but is in good spirits. He has been really sleepy all day, poor little guy. We fly out at 11:00 ish tomorrow to Texas, where we will be for the next 5 days. I feel SO much better about the trip now.
Ronan has yet to meet his uncle Brandon who is getting married. I cannot wait for them to finally meet :)

I will be sure to post plenty of wedding pictures, especially of Ronan as the ring bearer ;)

Thank you all for your prayers and concern!!

still waiting....

So we went to the PED, and thankfully they were able to administer the catheter without a hitch (they were worried they wouldn't be able to and he would have to be sent to the hospital for the catheter) So I was really happy that everything was working out. The initial look at the urine was fine. He said it looked clean and it didn't appear to be an infection, but to be safe they are sending it off to a lab to be sure. He really doubts that it's another UTI because he is in such good spirits, happy and silly.
I really hope that it's just a virus and no more antibiotics are needed, because if it IS an infection it increases the odds that it's not correcting itself and surgery might be necessary :( BUUUUUUUUUT i am not even going down that road right now...
Thank you all for prayers! I will keep you updated,

worried

Ronan woke up with a fever of 101. He was tossing and turning all night. I figured it was discomfort because he was slightly constipated, but the fever brings me to worry that it may be another infection due to his kidney reflux.
I know that we wouldn't have to be hospitalized this time, thank goodness. But still, my poor little man :( And right before our flight to Texas for my BIL's wedding where Ronan is the ring bearer, my husband a groomsmen, and me and hubby also singing... ugh... needless to say I am worried and stressed.
We called our PED, and he told us to come in for a urinalysis to check for infection. That is in about 2 hours, hopefully we will get results back soon.
please pray :(

Best buddies

Hahaha I don't have a whole lot to say, I just really wanted to post these cute pictures of Ronan and his puppy Hazel napping and cuddling together :)

She is such a little mother hen to him. Always giving him kisses, rushing to his side if he cries, or licking his nose when he sneezes lol. Whenever we are in the car, she sits in the back by his car seat and sits sooo close to the car seat she is like smashing herself against it... she loves her baby :)






And here are a few better late than never 5 month shots. He wasn't quite as cooperative this time :) Next month we are hoping to get some profession 6th month pics!!







The first one i have heard some people comparing him to an "E-Trade baby" LOL

Why blame God?

Why blame God when bad things happen? Especially if there is no belief in a God or a higher power?? Then when GOOD things happen, credit "luck" or like karma...

I understand being mad. Heck I understand being mad at God! I remember when I lost Adriel, I spent many hours, weeks, and months crying out to God, yelling at him. Asking WHY he let it happen, WHY he let me think everything would be fine with my baby at one ultrasound, only to find out he was dead at the next. At the time, there was no answer, just ache, raw ache... But somehow in the middle of that ache came a peace, a peace that passes all understanding. I was STILL mad, but I still knew that God loved me. I knew he was crying with me over Adriel's loss.

Philippians 4:6-8 (New International Version)

6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

I prayed for peace... I just wanted peace. And he gave me that... Who else could've done that for me? certainly not luck or karma and certainly not myself.

The fact of the matter is that bad things happen to "good" people, they happen to "bad" people (who sets these standards anyway?) OH but the "bad" people, they don't really matter though, right? they are bad! They must've been asking for it.
Let me tell you about a standard that effects both the good and bad... GOD'S and guess what? He loves both "good" people and "bad" people. And being a "Christian" does NOT exempt you from heart ache- trust me! What it does promise is PEACE in those times of ache. God promises that he will be there for us when the bad things do happen.
An age old example: JOB! Read it if you have no idea what I am talking about.
Job was a man, a "good" man. Well mr. Satan comes along and decides he wants to mess with Job, Why? Well because he wants to prove to God that people wouldn't love him quite so much if things weren't always going well for those who love and follow him. God knew Job, he had confidence in him. He allowed Satan to cause Job heart ache because he knew Job was strong and faithful- he knew that Job would set a standard, that hundreds of years from now we still use!!! Wait... What?? Satan? Oh, that's right.. he's bad and loves to screw with people, but lets blame God still, never Satan!!
Long story short, Satan screws with Job. Poor Job has no idea why - no answers. He continues to trust God. Satan is mad, God wins! who saw that coming! God was so proud of Job he blessed him beyond belief. He was rewarded for his trust!

John 16:33
I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world

My heart breaks when I see dear friends and family members experiencing heart ache and loss. It's not fair. It's just not. And all I can do is pray, pray for peace and pray that soon their sorrow will be turned into joy

psalms 30:5
Weeping may last through the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

I guess it just frustrates me when people automatically blame God, Why not Satan? He is the master of lies! God allowed us free will, and with that came the fall of man (Adam and Eve) We don't live in a perfect world anymore- we have to wait for that (Heaven) Until then, bad things will happen. it's the nature of sin. There will be cancer, death, infertility, divorce... He is hurting with you, let him wraps his loving arms around you and bring you peace.

Remember it's okay to be mad, it's okay to not understand. Yell and scream, cry and grieve. May God bring people along side you to mourn with you... Remember that we live in a world of sin... some day Jesus will return and then there will be no more sorrow, no more heart ache!!! YAY!!!
I told you in the begining that I had no idea why God allowed my loss to happen. I still don't know, but I now wouldn't trade that experience for anything. Adriel was my baby, for even just a short time, he was mine. He brought me joy :) Someday I will get to hold him!!

Lord,
My heart aches for my loved ones who are hurting. Please show them your love. Please bring them peace. Take their hurting hearts into your big God hands and heal them. It's so hard to understand why these things happen. Horrible horrible things. We may never know why you allow them to happen, Lord. But we trust you now. We trust you with our very lives because we know that you are GOOD, and you only want good things for us. I love you Lord. Thank you that I can trust you.

Amen

Baby dedication tomorrow

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This is a day I have looked forward to for years and years. I remember longing for a baby, and having to sit through the church services where mommy's and daddy's were dedicating their children, rejoicing over their blessings. I was happy for them, but aching inside because i didn't have my blessing yet, and worried I may never... Thankfully the Lord did bless us, and I am forever greatful.

Ronan Edward Holman will be dedicated tomorrow at 9:00 am at our home church. To us this isn't just some tradition that should be done, or is "cute" It's very deep, emotional and symbolic. Just as Hannah did in 1 Samuel with her long awaited gift from the Lord, so will I with Ronan. And that is why we chose this verse to be read at his dedication.

1 Samuel 1:27-28

27 I asked the Lord to give me this boy, and he has granted my request. 28 Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life.”

Even though the Lord has had Ronan in his hands since before I even saw his face, while he was still knitting him together in my womb, this is my opportunity to thank and praise God for this beautiful gift he is lending me, entrusting me to raise, teach, and show him His love while on Earth, and ultimately give back to him. I will always do my best to love and protect him, but his heavenly father knows his days, and into His hands he goes :) The safest place he could ever be.

Thank you Lord for this opportunity. Thank you for making my dreams come true when I never even deserved it. Thank you for lending me this beautiful boy. I promise to Love him the way you would. I promise to teach him your love. I promise to be the best mother I can be, by also being the best wife I can be. Thank you for my church. Thank you for all of the blessings you have allowed me. I truly Love you more than anything, anyone... You are my GOD! And I am in AWE of you... Praise you Heavenly FATHER!!!

Pictures to come later :)

pop quiz mamas!

Who can figure out what my son is clinging to in this picture as his daddy rocks him to sleep? lol For some reason this item has become his favorite toy ;)
Probably because it makes loud crinkley sounds when you touch it.

Ronan and I are both sick today- Thankfully hubby is here to take care of us... I love him :)