Girls!!!

Today I went to a 6 year old girls birthday party, which so happened to be a "princess theme". I was asked to impersonate Ariel the Little mermaid. Not shocking since I have red hair and I sing. So I agreed. This family is soooo sweet, and I really wanted to make to this little girl's day.

OH how different girls and boys are. I am surrounded by boys, so I forget.... When I came out and sang, the boys had funny reactions. Most were shocked, kinda dropped their jaws, then ran away and hid.
The girls were just soooo excited. It was so special. I loved it.
I also love those silly boys :)

Here are some pictures from my day. Who knows? Maybe some day I will get to show these to my future daughter and she will think I am cool hahaha. My boys were so cute. They saw my all dressed up and just dolled over me. they kissed me, held my hand and told me how beautiful I was. :)

How blessed I am :)

I don't miss this

I secretly felt super optimistic this cycle. I had a really strong solid positive OPK. Everything was timed perfect. I was so excited when my period was 2 days late.... Negative pregnancy test. Wait, let me dig that out of the trash and check again... Yeah. Still negative. Maybe I will try again in a few hours. Oooooh could that maybe be a line? If I squint just right it kinda looks like there is another line. Maybe I need to hold it by the window where there is some natural lighting... Yeah, that is still negative. A few hours later... I need to recheck, I better dig my test back out if the garbage can.... Pathetic right? I know. I really got my hopes up this time. Why doesn't this stupid, crappy, thing called infertility just go away. Go bother the woman who doesn't want kids. Or the lady who has no place procreating... Okay, that was harsh. I guess I am just a hormonal mess right now. Turns out everyone so pregnant today in Facebook, so that is really helping too. So now, I am taking some time off Facebook, turning my focus once again back to God. Remembering that HIS timing is always best and that HE will create my family the way HE desires to do so... Which stinks when my stupid human desires get in the way right? I hope I don't sound too grumpy. I really am TRULLY blessed. I am one of the lucky women who go through this fight and come out of it with healthy children!!!! My marriage has remained intact. My family is thriving, and we create joyous, wonderful memories every day. No joke. I LOVE my life. It just doesn't feel complete yet. Not sure who this special little person is whom God has planted in my heart, but goodness, my heart is ready to embrace whoever it is. My period showed up right after I got my negative tests- which is always how it goes haha. So I go back to my healthy lifestyle and praying for a miracle :) These ups and downs of trying to conceive I just do not miss. It will be such a wonderful feeling when I know my family is complete. Until then, I continue to enjoy the beauty of what I DO have try my best to please God with what he has given me, and be strong in the battle to continue on in the fight to build my precious family... HIS way. Dear God, I trust you with my life. With my children, with my husband. Thank you so much for the gifts you have given me. I know there is still more to come. Both Brian and I feel it in our hearts. Until the day you remove these desire so rom our hearts, I ask that you give us strengths he endure this time. Please bless our efforts. Provide for us like you always have. We love you Lord. Amen.

Natural remedies

Since I have started the following supplements my cycles have been wonderfully regular! Before, they were horribly irregular and often need to be induced by progesterone to have a bleed.

Disclaimer, I am in no way a health professional. Just a smart young woman who has spent many years studying, researching, and consulting health professionals ;)
Always consult with a doctor.

So, because people have asked (in particular- an awesome girl that I met at the park today- you know who you are ;) hehe)
this is what I am currently taking to naturally regulate my cycle.

I start with lemon water (served at room temperature)
I take MACA 2x's a day (this alone restored my cycle)
Also, CoQ10 (has been said it could possibly help with egg quality)
And Royal Jelly (also to help with egg quality)
Prenatals
I eat lots of leafy greens, kale etc...
exercise regularly
And drink lots of water.
Peppermint tea is also known reduce androgens, which are often elevated in women with PCOS or other hormonal disorders.
I use coconut oil as a personal lubricant. Pressed was getting too pricey.
I get my OPK's online at Amazon. The Wondfo brand.

Because my PCOS is not caused by insulin resistance I do not need to take metformin.


I don't know if these will ever bring me a miracle baby, but it's worth a shot. If anything else it's just nice having a regular cycle. Going months without one is not healthy for your endometrium and can contribute to uterine cancer.

Hope that helps, especially those who are medical breaks and waiting to save up to try again. Waiting is hard.
Atleast this is something to do while you wait :)

Correction

It had to be added into my painting... Do you see it?The tiny bird flying. My sweet little Adriel in Heaven.I figure, there is enough room on the branch that I can always add in more birdies... Whether they will be flying, or on the branch with their mommy, daddy and brother :)

9 years...

Wow... I cannot believe I have been married to "the grey shirted boy" for nine years now ( if you don't know the story behind that name, it will have to wait for another day haha- if you DO know it, then you understand how amazing it is that God ever led us to be together )

We have been through so many ups, downs, trials, blessings. Married at the ripe old ages of 19 and 21 :) I wouldn't change a thing. He has helped me grow, challenged me, spiritually nourished me. He continues to love me unconditionally, provide for me... He is the best man I know.

So, for our anniversary present, 9 years is traditionally, woven/whicker or pottery etc... I went with whicker.
I went to Salvation Army not quite sure what I was looking for, but it enjoy painting on unique surfaces. I found a huge orange place mat. Like bright orange. I wish I took a pic of the front. I did take a picture of the back which will give you an idea.
But I brought it home last night and took a few hours to myself and painted a picture for him.
I rarely ever show any of my artwork, but Brian really loved it, and that pleased my heart so I wanted to share.
I got the initial idea of the painting from Pinterest, and added a few of my own personal touches.
I love how it turned out :)

I have a few other tricks up my sleeve for our actual anniversary date, so that will be fun. On Saturday we will go hiking, then out to eat,an d probably a movie. I can't wait to have some alone time with him! All day!!!

Brian recently started coaching baseball at the same high school I coach volleyball. It's fun watching him in this role... Not to mention he looks super hot in his baseball stuff!!!! Lol.

Happy anniversary to us!!!! Thank you Lord for this man you have given me! May we have many more years to come!!!

Ronan's check up

Some of you may remember that my sweet 4 year old, Ronan was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux, or, Kidney reflux. He was diagnosed at 5 weeks old due to a UTI that put him in the hospital.
Since then, they have frequently check on the status and have seen him slowly grow out of it. A perfect answer to prayer.

Today was supposed to be his last check up. To verify that it was gone.

We went to the ultrasound, the tech was nice, but very quiet. She didn't want to chat at all, and spent a LOT of time taking picture of his left kidney.

We then took the images to our specialist.

He came into the room very quiet, a little somber. He stated that Ronan's reflux looks to be no issue any more. Grown out of it.....

Good news right? .....

Did any one from the hospital come look at the pictures? Any second opinions?
* starting to panic now *

"No"

"one of his kidney's has a hump on it... He is in the age range for tumor growth. This happens most likely between 4-6 years of age. You will probably need to get more images done"

The conversation went down hill from there. A lot of talk about tumors, chemo, surgery etc... All worst case scenarios.

He promised to call me as soon as he heard back from the radiologist.

I left, a complete mess. Ronan was so happy, no clue how scary the situation was. The twins were fussy, so I just kinda went through the motions. Filled with fear.

I got the call... I answered, prepared for the worst. The word "benign" never sounded so beautiful. He said that it was a normal variation. Nothing more to be concerned about....

I broke down and cried after that.

All the images of surgeries, sleepless nights of worry, fear of the unknown, could be put to rest....

Then my heart felt for the parents who didn't get those calls. The ones that were malignant. My heart broke for them

We never know. Never know when God might call us to a difficult circumstance. One that might even call our children home before us.... Lord willing I never ever have to cross that bridge.

I do know that even through the darkest valleys. My God is good. This gives me more fuel than ever to teach my children about their Heavenly Father. To ensure they understand the price Jesus paid for them. The truth that if hey believe, they will be in heaven when they pass. That we will all be together on the other side of this life.

Keep on truckin'

Cycle #2 Another negative cycle.... Thankfully I am still having a regular cycle. The Maca is definitely regulating my hormones!!! Like I said before I am also taking royal jelly, prenatals, and I have added coQ10 along with lemon water to the daily regimen. If anything else I am super duper healthy lol. I am running regularly, keeping my weight around 135 on my 5'7 frame... So .... Doing all I can. It's up to God if He will give us a miracle :) I know He can do it. No doubt. Infact, it would knock my socks off... However, I also know how He designed me. I know I have a disease that Lord willing there is treatment for. It doesn't mean I can't dream though, right? Dream for a natural miracle, expect goodness and generosity from my Heavenly Father!!!! I am praying with my whole heart for that. If not, and He continues do give me the desire for more children we will pray about medical intervention again. I am not scared of it... I just really really want to see what can happen on my own. You never know. I know deep down, both my husband and I... We know that there are more children waiting. We know we are meant to raise more. I can't explain why, but God has made it very clear that this is what we were made for. It stinks that it doesn't come easy for us, but maybe that is what makes it so beautiful? We fight so hard, scrimp and save to bring life into this world. To show them love, and teach them about God. Sending them out as lights in this world. I can think of no greater calling. While we work on that.... We are also getting to a busy time of year! My husband who works full time, who is also in the final stages of publishing his first novel, is also going to be coaching baseball this year!!!! I am so excited for him!!!! When his season is over, it will be time for MINE!!!! For those who don't know, I am a varsity volleyball coach. I get to bring the kiddos with me. It's pretty amazing lol. So a lot going on in our home. Exciting and hopeful :)