Better late than never. Today Brian and I took Ronan into our RE (reproductive endocrinologist)We also took a Thank You card with pictures of him at birth and other stages. My doctor was very booked but came out as soon as we arrived because he was so excited to see us again :)
What was unfortunate was right before we got there Ronan completely passed out. I guess he was very very tired. My doctor chatted with us a bit, looked at his pictures and admired our sleeping boy. It was a very tender moment. I forgot how much I love my doctor.
It also brought very unexpected feelings. Once we walked into the door Brian and I were both flooded with memories. It was such a sense of fulfillment to be coming into that office, not in wonder, or anxiety. We weren't scared, we weren't nervous. We had our precious miracle safe and sleeping right next to us. We no longer had to wonder if our dreams would ever come true. We no longer were frustrated with "what ifs" or working out financial plans for the next cycle in case this one failed.... all it was, was joy.
THANK YOU LORD! Thank you for delivering me from deep heart ache. I pray for all my friends who are still waiting for this deliverance. I pray that you will fill their hearts as you have filled mine.
The other unexpected feeling was excitement! Excitement at the thought of trying AGAIN!!! I know I still want to wait a little while longer. I know that, but going there, seeing my doctor, it really has me in anticipation! I just know this time around will be different.
My doctor was very cute. As he admired our sleeping boy he stroked his shoulder and said, "okay, now we need to get you one dressed in PINK" hehehe.
I personally don't care what gender my children are, I am just excited to see what the Lord has in store for us next. I am getting excited to give Ronan a sibling.
My guess is that we will start going in the fall for baseline work. Then probably start actively trying in the winter. I think it would be nice to have a summer baby, or a spring baby. I just have NO idea how long it might take... It may take only 2 cycles on injectables, like it did with Ronan. It may take 6? I guess we'll find out when the time comes.
Sorry. I think I am mostly rambling. Today was a good day :) i only wish I could've gotten a picture of Ronan with my doctor.
Next week we are going to silver creek falls. There will be lots of pictures :)
I know how you feel! I brought Alex to see our doctor-and to plan a date to start back. It was wonderful, and to some degree, a little painful to be back. But on thing is for sure-all that heartache has been MORE than worth it! PS-we go back to begin trying for #2 September 22nd! Maybe we'll be in the same ddc?
ReplyDeleteThat is so cool!! I am a *little* nervous about getting back into the whole ttc thing, but really praying it will be different this time around- pleasant even. That would be so neat if we ended up in the same ddc! as for now I am still very much enjoying not being pg! haha
ReplyDelete