The other side needs to be heard...

I have been doing a lot of research about IVF lately. I wanted to be prepared, knowledgeable, and SURE that this is where God was leading us and not just something I wanted.
There are some pretty crazy assumptions out there- by Christians too! There are also a lot of good questions and concerns too.

I want to start with some of the assumptions that I have encountered.

Assumption #1

*Every couple using IVF will have left over embryos that will be discarded. They are essentially just picking the best ones to put back in, and killing the rest.

NO. couples are lucky if they have any embryos left- most couples choose to have them frozen so that they can come back in a year or two and have them put back into their womb- yeah, that may sound weird and very science fiction, but it certainly isn't a sin. It's just not the "norm"
There ARE some couples that choose to adopt their embryos out. And sadly yes, there are some people who enter IVF with only wanting one more child- (my RE does not recommend that). And sometimes they do choose to discard their babies- just like abortion, or donate to science. It breaks my heart that people make that choice. Just like it pains me when mothers have abortions, or murder their own children after birth. It's horrific and yes, a sin.
However- there are couples who love and cherish each and every embryo and it is not fair to put them in the same catagory.

Assumption #2
Couples using IVF are picking and choosing the genetics of their child so they can have the best bred children.

I have never heard of this lol. But I have been seeing it a lot on the web- I don't know, maybe some do, but I have never heard of it!

Assumption #3
If you have IVF and end up with twins or more, the IVF couple will choose fetal reduction.

That is just an awful thing to say, and is a horrible assumption. Most couples pursuing IVF are thankful for whatever they get. Dr's usually only transfer a max of 2 embryos anyway. However, once again, SOME couples decided they do not want multiples- some reduce to save the other babies, or to reduce risk of harm to other babies. When we started the IUI process to conceive Ronan we had to sign a waver that discussed fetal reduction stating that it was not an option for us.

Assumption #4
Christians turning to medical help/ fertility treatment are "turning to science" and not trusting God.

I cannot speak for every Christian on this. However I firmly believe God has helped us develop science to save lives, cure diseases, treat and heal people. Why is infertility any different? YES science can be used for bad, but that isn't just limited to the IVF world.
It is arrogant to think that we could take the power of creating lives from the Almighty. He is the only one who can breath life... No science can ever change that. IVF can be a beautiful solution to infertility that still requires complete trust in the Lord.

Assumption #5 Couples struggling with infertility are meant to adopt.

This is so confusing to me. I believe God specifically calls couples to adopt. I think adoption is beautiful and every Christian should consider this. But if God isn't putting it on your heart, or not giving you that passion, then that is okay. It would be unfortunate to the child if we simply adopted out of obligation.
Wanting a biological child is not a sin either. Just because an infertile couple is wanting to believe they can overcome this disease and carry their own child, doesn't make them selfish.


Infertility is a disease. A disease that happened because of the fall of man. Just as Cancer is, and any other sickness...

Are we then not trusting God if we seek, or "turn to science" for treatment for our well being?
Is the man with cancer who has been told he only has months to live doomed to die because of the cancer? Should he only pray for God to heal him? Is he sinning if he uses intervention? NO! God uses intelligent minds to develop science to cure and save lives according to His will.

And if the argument for IVF is population control, and the growing need for homes for orphans, then why then would the solution to this fall on the infertile couples? Does this mean that all "infertile" couples are doomed to never experience the joys of pregnancy and childbirth? That since for whatever reason, they can't naturally conceive they are now responsible for finding homes for children? Why shouldn't they fight the disease? Why shouldn't they get a chance to experience God's glory in reproduction? As long as the couple is still respecting the value of life, why shouldn't they fight for the chance to reproduce?
If that is the argument, then any reproduction at all could be considered selfish, and why not put a cap on all families and reproduction, requiring everyone to adopt. It sounds ridiculous because it is.


The point I am trying to make here is that the art of IVF, the science of it, is NOT a sin, but CAN be used sinfully. However there IS a way to honor the Lord during this process. The women who love the Lord, and who happen to be infertile, shouldn't be shamed for wanting to seek treatment for their disease. They shouldn't feel like their only option is to adopt- however should God call her to it, she will be blessed! Should her desire and longing continue, it is okay to find out her options medically, then prayerfully consider her next steps. Keeping God in the dr's office and involved in every aspect is crucial.

Should Brian and I choose to use IVF, you better believe that we will be praying and doing everything we can to honor GOD through the process, listening to HIS voice, and trusting HIS plan. We will love each little life that God allows us to create between husband and wife, and wait with anticipation to have them join our family.

I want to include certain things about IVF that DO raise concerns to me personally as a Bible believing Christian.

I believe that IVF should be between a husband and wife. That the egg should be hers and the sperm should be his. As I have mentioned before, I believe that ALL life begins at conception and should be respected. Every life created between the husband and wife should have a chance at life and be placed back in the wife's womb.

I praise God for IVF, I praise God for adoption, I praise God for natural conception because life is a gift, children are blessings.