Great expectations?

God is teaching me a lot right now....

First let me start by saying that I was just about heart broken to learn this morning that only 2 of the 5 early blasts continued to grow. Meaning that only 2 were frozen.
The good news is that they were both perfect quality 4AA and 5AA (already starting to hatch)
More than anything it was a blow to my expectation of how many I thought I would have. I thought being young I would have a good 10 frozen. THEN I wouldn't be so afraid, because if the first one didn't work I would have the others... They were my security blanket. My FALSE security blanket.
God is the only thing I can bank on. And what I know about God is that He always knows better than I do, and that worrying is a waste of time. God allowed us these 4 lives for a reason. He knew I never wanted to leave any behind, He knows which ones will make it and I should fully rely on His sovereignty.

As much as I constantly struggle with it, I must remind myself that my infertility does NOT define me. My struggle with conceiving doesn't make me less of a woman. God designed my body, and unfortunately because of sin and the fallen world I have a stupid disease that effects my fertility, but it has no reflection of my worth in God's eyes.

I have two healthy babies just waiting to implant (probably today or tomorrow) and two more siblings waiting to join the Holman pack later :)
I am blessed.

Lord, make my womb hospitable. Allow these little lives to implant. BOTH of them Lord, protect them both and allow them both a safe implantation. We love you and trust you. I ask that it be your will that we meet these precious ones in July.
In Your Name I pray,
AMEN!